Now I’d be the first to admit that it drives me a little nuts when I’m driving and somebody ahead of you or behind you does the wrong thing. Once upon a time if that happened to me it would be like ‘a red rag to a bull’. I’d get all steamed up, mutter abuse and really make my heart beat faster.
Nowadays, when somebody cuts me off in the car, I actively tell myself - don’t worry about it.
If it happens to you, try shrugging your shoulders and say “oh well it really doesn’t matter” or even “silly bugger – if you’re in such a hurry mate that’s your problem!” – the same applies when someone tail-gates you. It’s really annoying I know but just pull over and let them pass.
My wife has a great way of dealing with these idiots. She smiles at them!
That’s right – Some lunatic who thinks he’s god’s gift on the road and reckons that she cut him off or did some heinous thing that has now upset him, she smiles as he drives by yelling his head off, waving his arms about. It’s amazing their reaction – sort of “What the!”… and somehow the situation just seems to calm itself down.
It’s also worth remembering that we’re the ONLY star in our own personal movie.
What does that mean?
Well when we interact with somebody – we’re seeing it from our perspective – so if the boss comes down on us for being 30 seconds late through the door – we tend to perceive it as being ‘he hates me’, ‘I’ll never get that promotion’, ‘he never sees me when I get here half an hour early’.
We forget that the boss is starring in his own personal movie – and unbeknownst to us maybe he has just received a dressing down from his boss/wife/mechanic for ‘something’ and seeing you arrive 30 seconds late gives him an excuse to use his ‘boss role’ to make himself (or herself) feel better by telling you off.
So you see – it’s not personal. It’s not worth worrying about – unless you’re habitually late in which case you need to do something about it. Like getting up earlier!
You see, if you take it personally it will eat away at you all day and this increases your overall stress levels.
If you tell yourself this is out of character and the boss must’ve gotten out of bed on the wrong side or he/she’s got something on their mind - – it helps make the moment seem trivial and nine times out of ten it is trivial.
It’s the old ‘spilt milk’ syndrome. No use crying over it. Clean it up and move on.
Dogs in particular have a great way of dealing with stress.
A quick growl, some bared teeth maybe some close contact but nothing serious (it always looks worse than it is) then just as quickly as this ‘argy bargy’ started it’s all over. They’re mates again and in no time they’re playing together again chasing a ball or whatever.
Why? – Why don’t dogs hold a grudge?..
Because put simply – it just doesn’t matter!
Dogs live for ‘NOW’ – and so should you.
By all means make plans for the future, but appreciate that you are actually living your future with every breath you take – your future – and mine is… right now – so don’t waste a moment of it!
(c)2021 - Brian Pickering
