It’s a pain!... Just being old is bad enough!!...
When you remember how it felt to be twenty or even forty, well the comparison is a harsh one. How did I dance for five hours non- stop every week at the local dance? Saturdays were wild music, smoky halls, and spilled beer. Strange how I enjoyed that then, must have been a little warped. Now I struggle and puff to walk to the Club a few doors away. My shake rattle and roll has become a shuffle and a slow walk.
What happened to that bouncing energy that wild abandon? Walking the dog, cooking for five of us, working all day then going to parties at night, only to fly out of bed each day and do it all again. I still only sleep about 5 hours a night, but that is due to a geriatric cat. She wakes me with dawn chorus between 4 and 5am. She has lived for 17 years, but her time is often dangerously close to a final curtain.
I have arthritis, but whether it is rheumatoid or osteo it matters not, they both hurt. Hanging out washing is accompanied by a sound track of “ouch” or “darn it.” as I try to control fingers and joints. Dropping washing and pegs as I reach for the line. Putting the quilt cover on our bed destroys me too, I fall into a chair afterwards like I have had a few rounds with Cassius Clay.
I also struggle with every jar or bottle, swearing a lot at some, Yes, I do have some gadgets; but nothing works on some medical “childproof” tops. I get a hammer and belt the life out of it if husband isn’t around.
Packaging is so tough now, sealed packs of everything. By the time I undo my make up from its plastic seal I am too old to wear it. A paint holder for my art was wrapped in hard plastic, then sealed like Fort Knox; the small plastic plate was only 2 dollars to buy, what on earth were they protecting a plastic object like that from? The mind boggles. I used a chisel on that and nearly took a finger off.
My husband has a ‘stranded whale’ syndrome, trying to get to the vertical when he has been horizontal. He looks and sounds like a creature from the deep. He also assures me bending to pull up socks he nearly passes out. He has a few times nearly got strangled by his new red braces too. Life is fraught with danger.
A flash new coffee bar cum coffee grinding shop just opened. They have very few seats, So, our only seating was on the high stools. When I say high I mean HIGH!
I had a winter knitted jacket on, and attempted to get my rear onto the seat, I slipped off, also there were no steps to get up, it was like trying to climb Everest for me, and I am about 5.5ins in old money. After ten minutes of trying and sipping coffee, I made it, but it was not a pretty sight. I straddled sideways looking like a leftover from a silent movie riding as ladies did- sideways. But I am no lady, and I had many looks of pity.
I think not many 80 year olds will get to ride these seats.
It is embarrassing getting old. I know I could walk better with a wheelie walker, but pride assures me I don’t need one yet. I cheat at shopping centres getting a trolley to take my shopping around. I guess soon I shall have to give in and use one. We both stoop, think of the way the Queen looks and we both look like that.
We try to improve posture but no chance. We still look like the hunchback of Notre Dame…My only saving grace is that if the queen is hunched with her best of care, what chance do we have?
So I slap on the war paint, and after a few glasses of bubbles am out there moving parts that do not want to move in a dance formation. It lasts all of five minutes before I head for a chair. I love live music, and have a beautiful friend who will soon be 90. We get up and do some sort of dance that has never been approved, we laugh and have fun, it makes us both forget the pains we feel.
Life is still for living. Just do it!!!
(c)2020 - Jacqui Lee
